November 26th follow-up

Philemon
What can help us forgive others?

Philemon was a slave owner who had a slave named Onesimus who stole from him and ran off. An offense that could be punishable by death. Onesimus ends up in Rome, meets Paul, and then comes to faith in Christ. Paul and Onesimus agree that the right thing for Onesimus to do is to go back and deal with his sin. Paul asks Philemon to receive Onesimus back as a brother in Christ rather than a slave. But in doing so, Paul was asking Philemon to forgive Onesimus.

As followers of Jesus, we will encounter many challenging things. One of the more challenging things you may face is forgiving someone who has sinned against you. Though there is no such thing as big sins/little sins, not all sin has the same effect. Some sins committed against us will hurt deeply. The greater the hurt, the harder it is to forgive. So what is a believer to do who finds themself struggling to forgive another believer?

Paul spoke of Philemon’s love for God and God’s people. Philemon was able to love others, because of God’s love for him which was demonstrated in a powerful way when Jesus died on the Cross for our sins. Loving those who have hurt us can be difficult. What will help is if we dwell on how God demonstrated his love for us even though we had sinned against Him. Paul said in Romans – “Yet while we were sinners Christ died for us”.

Paul then prays that Philemon's witness of Christ would become more effective through understanding all the good things we have in Christ. One of the good things Philemon had was a changed life. If Philemon would acknowledge that he was not the same person because of Jesus, it would make it easier for him to forgive Onesimus because Onesimus was no longer the same person. If you are struggling with forgiving another believer, just remember we are all new creations who are works in progress.

Paul then shows Philemon what he will gain by forgiving Onesimus. Rather than getting back a slave, he would be gaining a brother in Christ. Philemon may have lost an unproductive slave, but he would be gaining a faithful servant of God. One thing that can make unforgiveness hard is dwelling upon what we have lost. But if we choose to forgive, what we can gain in return, will likely be greater than what we have lost.

If you are struggling with unforgiveness, my encouragement to you is to choose forgiveness over bitterness, anger, resentment, and holding on to the hurt and pain. Forgiving the one who hurt you may not result in reconciliation, but it will allow you to begin to heal.