July 19th Devotion

How Do I Trust God When I Don’t Understand What He’s Doing?
By Becky Harling

“You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” – John 13:7

There have been moments in my life when different trials have blindsided me. Things like cancer, unexpected job loss, or a host of other situations where I felt caught off guard by what I believed to be true about God. Ever been there?

Recently, I was reading the gospel of John, chapter 13. You know the story. The disciples and Jesus met in the upper room to celebrate the Passover. We call this the Last Supper. As the disciples gathered in the room, there was no servant to wash feet. This would have been absolutely unheard of in Middle East culture where everyone’s feet would get dirty and dusty. You could feel the tension in the room. The disciples anxiously looked at each other, wondering who would take the place of a servant and wash feet. Then Jesus wrapped a towel around His waist, got down on His knees, and began washing feet. Peter was appalled! Maybe he even felt a bit guilty for not being willing to be the one who would serve others. In any case, he questioned the Lord with the words, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” We could paraphrase that, “Lord are You really going to be the one to wash our feet? In Peter’s mind, this didn’t make any sense; how could the Lord of the universe stoop so low? Then Jesus spoke these profound words, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand” (John 13:7). Those words are so profound!

Often in our lives, we believe God is moving in one direction only to discover the plan is completely different. Perhaps we have felt we’ve even heard from the Holy Spirit about a job opportunity, or that we’ll receive a good diagnosis, or that we’ll find a godly mate, or that we’ll deliver a healthy baby, or that we’ll finally get to adopt a child. Then we’re blindsided by the lost job opportunity, or the cancer diagnosis, or the lack of God bringing a godly mate, or the miscarriage, or the failed adoption. The list could go on endlessly. When things don’t turn out like we anticipated, we feel disappointed with God and wonder, “Did I really hear from Him?”

The bigger question is, “How do I trust a God I don’t understand?”

In order to trust God when we don’t understand, we have to be brutally honest with our feelings. We can’t deny or numb feelings of disappointment, hoping they’ll go away. Instead, we must authentically dump them at the feet of Jesus. Remember the story of Lazarus dying found in John 11. Mary and Martha, Lazarus’s sisters, felt devastated and disappointed that Jesus hadn’t shown up in time. Both of them said to Jesus, “If only you had been here.” They were honest in their feelings. Jesus felt deep empathy for them and wept with them. No judgment. Just entering into their sorrow even though moments later, He knew He would raise Lazarus from the dead.

When we feel disappointed with God’s response, we must cling to what we know about His character. Returning to what we know to be true will help settle our souls. If we always understood God, He wouldn’t be God. He would be our equal. Instead, He is vastly beyond our imagination. Yet, according to His Word; He is good. He loves us. He is faithful, and He will do what’s best for us.

The truth is that our trust muscles are strengthened as we go through life’s disappointments. We walk by faith and not explanations. If we continue to authentically bring our feelings before God and cling to what we know to be true about His character, our faith will grow stronger even in suffering. As we lean into Jesus, He will whisper reassurance to our broken hearts.